TIGER SQUARED

[moonlightbeast]

[It's the bright light that gets to Atsushi first, making him squint as he holds up an arm to shield his eyes. It's so bright here, brighter than his own world. Maybe it's because he's outside during the day, instead of sleeping off his insomnia and waiting for night time? Who knows.

But this world is different.

It's 'a world in which Dazai-san didn't die.'

He knows what he's done is unforgivable. He knows that, if Dazai remembers anything, he'll hate Atsushi forever. But Atsushi doesn't care. He went three months knowing how to save Dazai and not giving in to that temptation. Three long, long months. Then the temptation just became too great, and he gave in.

'Maybe, with some experimenting, I can find a world where they both live.' That is his thought process.

That will take time to sort out, though, and the book apparently has a cooldown before it can be used again. So Atsushi will have to live in this world for ten days, and come up with a plan of action for his next attempt.

Pulling up his hood, Atsushi glances around nervously. He has the book tucked safely into an inner pocket of his coat, but it feels heavy there. It's the most precious thing he has ever handled, and he knows he has to keep it safe. Because if he loses it, then he loses his chance to fix everything. And if he loses his chance to fix everything, then he will have betrayed Dazai's trust for nothing. Even he couldn't survive that.

But here in Yokohama, in the middle of the day, Atsushi might learn a few things. Like how he's not the only 'Atsushi' around, and that by writing 'I want to see Dazai-san again' he has made it so he exists in this world too, when he really shouldn't. It's going to become a big mess very, very soon.]

Comments

me @ me: "how do I play Atsushi again" aka I'm going #yolo here

[mantiger]

[ While it might be called the Armed Detective Agency, there are times when Atsushi had to be sent off on odd jobs that didn't involve investigating at all, especially during what seemed to be a cool off period like today. Perhaps they assigned him to this because tiger, of course, or perhaps the group had some sort of other ulterior motive underneath it all, he couldn't be so sure.

But one thing is for certain, and that's the fact that this Atsushi, in spite of being a nervous wreck is attempting at approaching his counterpart without realizing who it is. ]

Um, excuse me, you haven't seen a small black cat around here, have you?

[ You can now tell why he was sent on this mission as he tries to nervously laugh, worried that he might have stumbled over his words.

Nailed it. ]

go fight win

[moonlightbeast]

[YEAH UH

He had been expecting a lot of things, but 'another version of himself' is not one of those things.

His eyes go wide, and for a moment he can't even breathe, much less move. It can't be him, this shouldn't be possible. And yet here he is, staring at himself.

Maybe this Atsushi doesn't recognize just who is hiding in that dark coat with the big furry hood. It's partially obscuring his face, after all. But surely he can recognize his own voice, right?]

Ah...n-no...

[mantiger]

[ You know how when you listen to a recording of your own voice and play it back, it sounds different from how you would imagine hearing your own voice?

Well, that's a bit of an issue for almost half a second before he notices it and when he does?

He freeze right on the spot, eyes growing wide because he must be hearing things. There must be an ability user doing this, he has to contact Dazai-san immediatelyー

But he doesn't, in spite of those growing concerns.

Instead, he just asks the question that's probably on both of their minds, an underlying tremble there that doesn't hide itself beneath the surface. ]

Who. . .?

[ Who are you? ]

[moonlightbeast]

I...

[He can't do this. This is almost as bad as immediately running into Dazai. This other version of him looks so different, and he just knows it's because his entire life is different.

He's not even wearing the collar. Atsushi doesn't know why he noticed that, but he can't stop staring now.

And then, a moment later, he turns and runs. Because 'flight' has run over his rational thinking.]

[mantiger]

[ While a part of his instincts scream that pursuing him is probably dangerous, that maybe it's a very bad idea to chase after the person that sounds exactly like him, there's just so many questions running rampant in his mind that are left unanswered that he has to know.

Like the one he just asked.

Curiosity killed the cat, as they say, and Atsushi is no exception. Maybe that's why he drops all his other plans - work be damned, he'll apologize to Dazai-san and Kunikida-san and all of the others later - as he instead chases after 'himself' with all the speed that he's got, calling out to him as he does, even if it might be in vain. ]

Wait!

switching Beast!Atsushi to his last name in the narrative

[moonlightbeast]

[Unfortunately, Nakajima is fast. Very fast. He's got the tiger's speed after all, and even if it hurts to use he's boosting his speed as he bolts down the streets, trying to put as much distance between himself and Atsushi as he can.

But fortunately, Atsushi also has that speed, and following Nakajima will be easy if he uses his ability. It's not like he's going anywhere too unexpected. Just to the docks.

The docks where the Port Mafia operate.

Because, even if he's not mafia anymore, that place is Home. And when someone is scared, they tend to run somewhere familiar. Though Atsushi might want to stop them before they get there, as the mafia might have Questions.]

[mantiger]

[ Being able to match that speed is a good thing, thankfully, especially given the direction that he's headed - which takes some time for Atsushi to even realize that the direction the duo were headed was the docks, and that's.

Well, it's not a place he would want to be right now.

And it's decisively not a place for two Atsushis to be right now, not when they might have questions. Hence the decision to give chase, even using those strong legs of his to not just run, but take a long leap towards him in a sheer attempt to tackle Nakajima to the ground before reaching the docks. ]

I said wait—!

[ He isn't even angry or upset at the other Nakajima Atsushi. He just wants to understand. ]

[moonlightbeast]

[The tackles is successful! Perhaps a bit too successful, even. Because as they fall to the ground, Nakajima hisses in pain as the collar digs into the skin of his neck. That's the pain he picks out of the whole mess there, the dull ache in his body after being tackled barely registers.]

Let me go!

[A shout, and a familiar tone once again. Nakajima is struggling to squirm away, but he doesn't think to use his claws against Atsushi, so Atsushi can win the fight pretty easily.]

[mantiger]

[ NO FUCK U

While he does register the pain coming from his other self and now, since he's paying a little more closely attention notices the collar, he knows better than to let go so easily. ]

Not until you stop running away and tell me what's going on and why you're wearing my face.

[moonlightbeast]

[While Nakajima is still at least somewhat restrained, there is a sense of 'fight' in his eyes as he glares at Atsushi. He doesn't want this confrontation at all, but he doesn't like that accusation either.]

Your face? This is my face!

[He practically spits that out. He heard the other parts too, but he's not responding to those yet.]

[mantiger]

[ Okay you know what, he has a fair point and while he wants to make a bit of a frustrated retort as well, that isn't going to help either of them. And it sure isn't going to give Atsushi any answers, either.

So let's try going about this another way. ]

Then why do we both look and sound the same?

[ It's a bit softer, but it's no less confused or frustrated about their current situation. ]

[moonlightbeast]

I don't know!

[The irritation is still there, but as Atsushi starts to quiet down so does Nakajima. He really doesn't want to fight here, and Atsushi will actually be able to watch as Nakajima deflates a bit.]

I...don't know. I've always looked like this.

[And then, with some hesitation:]

Nakajima Atsushi?

[mantiger]

[ To be honest? Atsushi can't even complain about the irritation in his counterpart's voice in the slightest bit. After all, this situation is strange and he just can't entirely wrap his head around, well. All of this. He can't help but swallow hard because the implications from the words there. "I've always looked like this." And then he says-- no, asks-- that, which confirms the obvious. And he just nods. Yes, he's Atsushi, too. ]

[moonlightbeast]

[Well. This is awkward. He didn't expect another Atsushi to exist once he wrote in the book.

But in a way it makes sense. Nakajima had to continue to existing, because of the phrasing he used in the book. "I want to see Dazai alive." But if the world changed, then another Atsushi would have to exist too, one who had always lived in that world. So in a way, Atsushi is a sign that yes, the world is different now.

For a moment, the light returns to his eyes, and he seems a bit hopeful as he speaks.]

Dazai Osamu. Do you know that name?

[mantiger]

[ It definitely is very awkward in many ways that words cannot even describe so easily. Even though he doesn't seem to answer any of the questions that he'd asked earlier, he has just the slightest bit of hope that he'll get them soon enough. But... the strange thing here is that he asks for that name specifically. ] Dazai-san? [ Confusion settles in his voice, staring at his other self for a good few moments. ] I do, but. . . why?

[moonlightbeast]

Tell me about him.

[It's said rather abruptly, and with a lot of meaning behind those words.]

What is he doing? How is he doing?

[mantiger]

[ Even though there's a lot of meaning held behind those words of something important that he doesn't know about that gives him a sense of slight concern, he dismisses it. At least, for now; tucking that information in the back of his mind but not bringing it up immediately. Although there are clues in his words. Especially when he seems to emphasize that one word. How. Like there's something to potentially be concerned about. Then again, there's always something to be concerned about considering, well — ] He works for the Armed Detective Agency and he's- [ Not fine, per say but. ] He's the same as always, I guess. [ Would he understand that? How does he know Dazai-san? ]

[moonlightbeast]

The Armed Detective Agency, is it? And he's alive...

[If he is 'the same as always', then that means he's alive to be the same as always. Which is exactly the answer Nakajima had been looking for.

It worked. He had written in the book, and it had worked.]

...alright. You can let me go now, I won't run away again.

[For now at least. Now that he's got his answer, he seems slightly more compliant.]

[mantiger]

Yeah, of course he's alive-- [ But why would he think otherwise? Did something happen? Should he be concerned? Should he ask about it? A part of him thinks that if he even dares to try asking, he'll regret it. Even if he wants to know the truth. But he won't ask; at least not yet. Atsushi does, however, let go of him, shifting away a bit. ] Will you explain to me what's going on, then? [ There's something a little uncomfortable about how he asks the question, but this is definitely something he needs to know. He knew his name, so they must be the same person, somehow. ]

[moonlightbeast]

[As soon as he's let up, he rubs at his neck a little, trying to adjust the collar. His fingertips come back red, though, and he frowns as he wipes the blood off on his pants. He'll have to wash later.]

I would, if I actually knew what was going on myself.

[YEP he's gonna lie his ass off about writing in the book.]

All I can say for sure is that this world is different from the one I remember.

[mantiger]

[ Atsushi finds his lips tugging into a frown at the blood; he doesn't like seeing other people get hurt all that much in general. If he can help them, he would want to.

And as much as he loathes himself...

This person in front of him is both himself and yet not. If he can, he wants to help.

But first. ]

You're lying.

[ If they're similar, or even remotely the same, he can tell when he's not telling the truth, so Atsushi is going to call him out on it. He doesn't know why he would lie, but the fact that he did means that it's probably important, he thinks. ]

[moonlightbeast]

[Nakajima's first instinct is to keep up the lie and insist it's true. Luckily, he does not go with his first instinct here. Because Atsushi is him, and he is Atsushi. The way they lie is bound to be similar.

And, of course, Nakajima is smiling that forced smile as he speaks again.]

Ah, well...I have my suspicions, but I don't really want to say them out loud until I know for sure.

[That answer is a bit closer to the truth, but it still isn't the full truth.]

[mantiger]

[ He doesn't know why, but seeing that smile on someone else that wears his face kind of... tears at him a little. Maybe because of a natural instinct of wanting to help and being somewhat are that they're not exactly entirely the same, even if they have similar mannerisms. That answer he gives is enough for now; he won't pry any further. Maybe it's time to switch topics. ] What should I call you? [ He assumes they share a name but he's really not certain what to go for in this situation. . . And they'll have to go back to the Agency at some point, see what Dazai's opinion on the matter is. And. He totally hasn't forgotten about the cat, what are you talking about? (Narrator voice: he forgot about the cat.) ]

[moonlightbeast]

[Nakajima is tempted to say 'Atsushi', since they're the same person and should be able to use familiar names. But he stops himself short, and he goes in another direction entirely.]

...it doesn't matter what you call me. I'm going to be making myself scarce anyway.

[ 'scarce', not disappear entirely. Because while he doesn't want to mess with anything in this world, he also knows he won't be able to stay away. Not when Dazai is alive in this world.

If Atsushi lets him up, he'll be moving to stand up.]

If your life is anything like mine, most people probably call you 'Atsushi-kun'. If that's the case, then maybe a good thing to call me would be 'Nakajima.'

[mantiger]

Nakajima, then. [ No honorific, given that they are, after all, the same person in spite of them having lived very different lives. Even though Atsushi tries to smile, it's something a little sad and pitiful; almost guilty in some ways, given that the reason why he's making himself scarce... must be because of him, right? And that's also why he's 'Nakajima' and not 'Atsushi'. It feels like he's torn something away from him. ] Maybe we should go back to the office. You want to see Dazai-san, right?