backyardbbq | John + Dave, Minestuck

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John + Dave, Minestuck

[Space is a weird thing, yo. It can suddenly drag you off a ship and into a crash-course with another, unknown planet without you even realizing it.

Which is exactly what happened, by the way. John should have known not to fly around on a moving boat.

But hey, it's not all bad. Despite the fact that he landed in God knows where with nothing around but trees, grass, and chickens, at least one of his best bros is there.]

Dave!

[His smile is one of both excitement and surprise, since he wasn't expecting to find anyone he knew, especially not someone he hadn't seen in a year. But hey, reunion hugs are totally okay, right? Because John is definitely running in for a bro-hug.]

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[The bro-hug catches him off guard and nearly bowls him over. Dave shifts to compensate and resists wheezing. Damn, John has gotten strong.] John.

Where the hell are we man? I mean, I was minding my own business in the bubbles and got trainwrecked but what are you doing here?

[The bro-hug is short, because bro-hugs never carry on for long. John is happy to see you, Dave, but no homo.]

I dunno! I was just exploring the planets with Jade and then I ended up here instead of on Jade's planet. But this one is kinda weird, isn't it? It looks kinda...

[He pauses for a moment as he looks around at the trees and dirt around them.]

...blocky.

That's one way to put it. [He responds as he eyes their surroundings. He kicks at a tree block and cracks appear in it's surface.]

[John sees this, of course, and he's just staring at the tree.]

Dude, how strong did you even get? You totally just split that tree in half!

I didn't get any stronger. Well, maybe a little it comes with sparring with Kanaya who is apparently some vamp troll? She does the nightlight bling thing. [He nudges John, motioning he should kick the tree too.]

You try.

[John goes ahead and tries it to, and one well-placed kick gets cracks going up the spot he kicked. But as soon as he stops kicking, the cracks go away.]

...uh. You saw that right?

[Dave blinks and peers at it. Then without warning he punches the block. Same deal. He just keeps it then plock. A tiny little block turns on the ground. He reaches out very slowly and takes it into his hand.]

Ok. What the fuck.

Hahaha holy shit you just punched a tree into a smaller tree.

[John tries to do this with a block of leaves- by the way the leaves are arranged in blocks too- but they disappear. Instead, an apple falls out.]

Ok, so we punch trees, we get blocks of wood. Punch leaves, get apples?

That's just how awesome I am. [...wow, he never realized how much he missed the sight of luscious red apples until he saw one. It's been two years since he's seen one. Dave whacks the leaf blocks until an apple drops and snags it. He doesn't hesitate to take a good bite out of it. He makes a sound that could be taken as a groan and nearly swoons. It's an orgasm in a tasty, juicy bite. All of that plays across his face, the sheer pleasure of the moment all his. Mmmmm.]

The apples check out. Legit stuff.

[John has already devoured his apple, because fuck yes real food. Now he's punching trees to get as many apples as he can carry, which will suspiciously cap out at 64.]

I don't know what's up with this planet, but this is pretty awesome!

[And then he pauses, when he hears a mooing sound. And he looks over.

A cow.

Just standing there.

Staring.

Suddenly John gets an idea, and he grins over at Dave.]

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Edited 2012-10-13 18:23 (UTC)

I dunno, lay your plan out for me. Maybe we're thinking the same thing. [A slow evil smirk stretches his lips into a devious expression. Oh he's thinking alright.]

Let's punch cows until we get steaks!

[Yeah he's running after that cow now, punching it when he gets close to it.]

[He's snickering now just watching John do this as he has his sweet beautiful apple.]

[He doesn't notice Dave isn't joining in, and soon the cow falls over and John is carrying three steaks and a bit of leather.]

What's this stuff?

[He walks over, hands in his pockets and inspects it.]

Looks like a cow hide. Might as well keep it. [He pauses as he notes the sun is setting.]

Huh. The sun sets here.

Well yeah, the sun sets everywhere. Well, except on that ship, since there wasn't a sun, but whatever this is definitely a planet with a sun.

[He's looking around again, and then he realizes something.]

We're gonna have to sleep outside aren't we?

Doesn't set in the Ring either. It's been a while since I saw the sun. [He looks around about the same time as John does and shrugs.] Unless we make a little spot for ourselves, yeah.

Yeah we should probably do that, it's gonna get cold.

[He looks down at the wood blocks.]

Hey, think if we get enough of these things that we could make a little fort?

[He stares at the wood blocks, walks over to a hill and starts kicking the dirt. As blocks form he goes deeper into the hole he's creating. Until he hit stone with a curse.]

[Upon hearing the cursing, he goes over to peer in the hole Dave had made.]

What happened?

[Dave is in the back, sitting with his back against grey stone.] Hit stone. Anyway, get to building I'm going to clean out back here so we have a proper fort.

Right-o!

[And he turns around to go get more wood, but he stops near the entrance of the cavetunnel]

Hahaha oh my god what the fuck is that?

[Dave jerks up, feet planted in a defense stance. He was already jumpy and now he's peering in the same direction.]

[John is pointing to a creeper walking around on a block-hill not far away.]

It's like...a giant green walking dick or something.

...if that is what your dick looks like keep it in your pants.

Yes Dave, my dick is blocky and over six feet tall.

[His eyes, they are rolling.

Also the creeper was just wandering and somehow came close enough to actually notice them and is now moving closer. There may be a 'sssssss' sound coming from it too.]

Hey, I don't judge. If you got a body splitter that's your business. The green hulk of the bedroom.

[God he should stop. Dave hears the Sssssss noise and stares. No really what the hell is this thing.]

[It's an exploding dick that's what it is. And it takes out John and half the dug-out hill with it.

Fortunately being killed by exploding dong isn't heroic, so John will be back in a couple minutes. But did Dave survive the blast?]

[NOPE! Dave got taken out too. He'll be back in a couple of minutes. A few moments later he is back and gasping as he dusts off his godtier clothes with a word of wisdom.] Fuck John I told you to keep that in your pants. It jizzed so hard I briefly ceased to exist!

[John is dusting off his clothes too, but he takes a moment to go punch Dave for being dumb :|]

Shut up! I had nothing to do with the giant green dong exploding.

[There's a few more of them frolicking on the hillside not to far away, though. They're far enough away not to notice the two boys, but close enough to be seen.]

[This has become kids being childish because Dave punches him back.]

Yes you did! Didn't you get taught not to point? I know I did. Bro went, lil man don't point at things. Then when I pointed my middle finger at the ceiling I got a dose of puppet ass all over my anguished face!

Edited 2012-11-06 01:50 (UTC)

[Childish fighting!!1 John totally punches Dave again.]

Shut up! I didn't expect it to explode!

[This gets return fire before Dave goes to collect the blocks dropped. He sets back up a roof and turns wood blocks into planks. He uses the shit ton of that. And discovers a crafting table which he makes and sets down before returning to blocking them in.]

I was going down and you didn't even warn me when the flood was coming.

I would have if I had seen it coming, dumbass.

[But yes building a shelter is good. He's grabbing dirt blocks and filling in holes to make a wall and roof. But then it gets pretty dark oops.]

...what now?

If you'd seen it coming you should have tugged at my hair. It's a hey unless you're swallowing get back up here. Only you get me in the eye and I'm obligated to punch you for it.

[Dave blinks and knocks out a block at the bottom of the wall. Suddenly a little light. He wanders back over to the crafting table and starts fucking around. The result? A pickax.]

What the fuck are you even talking about now?

[He takes a moment to crouch down and peer out the opening in the wall. Yep, creepers are still out there, but they don't seem to see either of them. Maybe it was a line of sight thing.

Then he stands back up and looks over to Dave. That sure is something in his hands there!]

What's that?

Absolutely nothing.

[He waves the pickax and grabs it with both hands, feeling the weight of it.]

Seems like a pickax.

Do you even know how to use that?

[But John will go over and mess with the crafting table. He's trying to make a hammer, as his is suspiciously gone, but instead he makes a shovel.]

Do you even now how use that? [Dave grouses as he steps over to the wall. He readies the pick ax and starts swinging. It's like wielding a sword, just heavier.]

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John + Dave, Minestuck

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Dear notifs, stop hiding

hahaha crying I wondered whart happened

it got sent to spam, wtf the gmail

ohhh my email was doing that too D:

It's a whore

yes it is ffff

doesn't even take our money

They never take our money!

Can't claim they're hard working. not ever.

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