Open smut post

[notaccurate]

OKAY.

SO.

This is a smut post. Just tag in here and tell me which of my characters you want for smut, and it will happen. Any version is ok: OU, AU, game versions of characters, whatever. Just two (or more) people boning, that's what this post is about.

Also I was going to post this with Luca's journal to use his butt icon but then I realized his paid was expired, so no butt icons for you. Sorry.

Comments

[9thbest]

Yeah, I don't think I could either, not after everything that happened there.

[Both the actual fighting and the cleanup afterwards are a part of that.]

But on the plus side, there's plenty of cities to move to. But I guess you'll have to wait until you're really old, they don't let you retire from the military until you're too old to fight.

[honestguy]

Yeah, like we'll live that long.

[ Good ol' Jean, always a ray of sunshine. ]

We'll be lucky if we survive long enough to get a promotion. If I wanted to get old enough to retire, I would've joined the Military Police...

[9thbest]

Don't be so stiff about it! If anyone is going to survive long enough to retire, it would definitely be you.

[Sure, the Scouting Legion has an 80% mortality rate, but that leaves 20% who do make it and retire.]

[honestguy]

What, me? My maneuvering's the only thing above-average about me. Surviving's more about luck than anything else.

[ Luck that's bound to run out eventually. He's under no delusions of grandeur, unlike certain suicidal morons. ]

I'll be happy as long as I don't get too many people killed before I go.

[9thbest]

You sell yourself short, Jean. You're a smart leader, and people listen to you. Even if you don't have any other skills besides that, you're surrounded by people who have the skills you lack. Just stick with us, and you'll be fine.

[honestguy]

Ha-ha. Thanks for that.

[ Sasha, you've been hanging around Jean for too long, obviously. ]

It's not like I was planning on going anywhere else. I like everybody just fine.

[9thbest]

Good, because we wouldn't let you go anywhere anyway.

[Their team would be out one asshole if he did leave.]

It's worse for girls, though. The whole 'worrying about retirement' thing, I mean. Because not only do we have to make sure we don't get old, we have to keep from getting pregnant too.

[honestguy]

Ohhh, yeah. They'd make you sit stuff out the whole time, huh?

[ Being a lady in the military is tough. Maybe it balances out with being good at 3DMG? ]

They have stuff to prevent that, right? I mean, we've got plenty of you guys in the military, can't imagine they'd wanna run the risk.

[ Oh, the things they don't tell you boys... ]

[9thbest]

Mostly they told us to not do anything that might lead to pregnancy and just danced around the issue. But there were a couple times- remember when they pulled the girls out from regular training? Well, those were special meetings about that.

[There is a short pause, and then she adds one more thing.]

Also I think one of the women instructors was encouraging us all to be gay.

[honestguy]

What!?

[ Jean is both shocked and embarrassed and laughing. Okay, that's more than two things, but who cares? ]

So it's either don't have sex or turn yourself gay?! Haha-- oh, man...

[9thbest]

[See, Sasha isn't as bothered by it, because it is so ridiculous that all she can do is laugh.]

I know, right? What great choices us women in the military have!

[Maybe this is why Hange went insane.]

[honestguy]

I mean, don't get me wrong-- plenty of guys are obviously into dudes and all that, but when they put it that way... shit, you girls got it tough.

[ Not that it's stopped people before, but... That does explain Hange. ]

[9thbest]

I'm pretty sure they just said that stuff to scare us. There were girls who snuck out at night to visit boys all the time.

[Sasha was just never one of them. Her first love was food.]

Didn't you ever notice guys sneaking out at night? I heard the hill in the forest was a makeout spot or something.

[honestguy]

Yeah, there were plenty of guys running roundabouts at night. We used to take bets on that sort of thing-- wondering who'd be next and who they'd be with...

[ Jean was too shy for that stuff. Or maybe he was just too busy being a huge nerd. ]

Then again, with the chance of death as high as it is for us, I can see why people would wanna start early.

[9thbest]

I dunno, I never really saw the big deal in it. I mean sure, I've never done it, but even so it doesn't seem like something to risk severe punishment over.

crap I didn't mean to leave this open for a day;;;

[honestguy]

Right, getting kicked out and having to go home... All cause they couldn't keep it in their pants? Talk about dumb.

[ Oh, children. ]

/patpat

[9thbest]

[After some thought, Sasha speaks again.]

Think they would care, out here? It's not like we're doing anything important out here, and it's probably easier to sneak off and do it with fewer people around.

[She's speaking generally about the group, not about anyone specific. But booo to using specific language.]

[honestguy]

Huh? Uh, well... I mean, it's not like anyone here would care. This whole area's pretty much deserted, and we're kinda just twiddling our thumbs back at the house...

[ Is she thinking what Jean thinks she's thinking, cause... ]

[9thbest]

[Mayyyyybe.

Or maybe she's just talking idly while they walk. Because she likes talking.]

Mmm, I guess that's true. Even if two people did that, everyone else would keep it quiet, I think.

Not that anybody's dating anyway, so I guess it's a non-issue.

[honestguy]

Right, there'd be no damn point in making a big deal out of it when we've got bigger shit to think about.

[ Of course. That's very convenient. ]

But yeah, you're right. It wouldn't really matter, either way.