Crybadger continued

[notaccurate]

SEE BELOW I'm making individual threads for things so that if a page gets long we can just move to a new comment thread.

Comments

[inspectormacarena]

[Dammit Luca that is not the point.]

Look, nobody believes he did it. Not his daughter, not his guards, not the chief of police... Nooobody. All we need is one viable, physical excuse to question his verdict and he'll be out on the streets in no time. I'll make sure of it, baby. [But it might already be too late so he would kindly like to stop talking about it now.]

[notaccurate]

[Nope too late they are talking about it so more talking will happen. ]

...so nobody believes he did it, and yet there was still a trial, and he was still convicted.

With him having so many friends in law enforcement, I would have thought the whole incident would have been swept under the rug in the first place.

[ Help he can't stop running his mouth. ]

[inspectormacarena]

... Are you tryin' to pick a fiiight? We don't sweep anything under rugs, no matter how painful it is.

[It doesn't help that Jowd keeps claiming he did it. Apparently the only one who believes he shot Alma is Jowd himself.]

[notaccurate]

No, no, it's just-

[Crap he needs to work on keeping his mouth shut.]

Ah... quid pro quo is very common where I am from. I keep forgetting that it is different here.

[inspectormacarena]

It's different in mooost places, baby. We've still got a ways to go, but we're gettin' there.

[notaccurate]

Ah.

[Crisis averted, for now at least. Luca has a feeling that he is going to have to find out more about what is going on before this whole adventure is over, though.

But look there's the store! It's definitely different from what Luca is used to, and he seems a little unsure as he steps in.]

So we just go in and take whatever we wish?

[inspectormacarena]

[Meanwhile, Cabanela steps inside with a lot more confidence. Finally, a place to grab some proper food of his own choice without having to make demands through a psychotic badger.]

Might be worth our whiiile to grab a basket. [So he'll do just that! It involves a bit of flourishing and a twirl. Once he's actually grabbed a shopping basket, he holds it up with an outstretched arm.] Just toss anything you need into one of theese, baby. They'll pack it all up in bags once we've paid for it.

[notaccurate]

[One basket isn't going to be nearly enough, so Luca grabs a second one to use as well. He is pretty much skipping past anything in a package, instead going for all the fresh things for a couple meals worth of food. Veggies, raw meat, eggs, and so forth. Luca cooks from scratch, so the only packaged things he gets are spices and oils for cooking with.

Oh, and booze. Can't forget the booze. At least one of the many bottles is cooking sherry, though, so it's not all meant to be consumed immediately. ]

This is so much better than my time. When we go to the grocer, you just tell them what you want and hope they gave you something good. You would end up with bruised apples as often as fresh ones.

[inspectormacarena]

[Oh geez... Welcome to America, Luca, where fresh produce is far more expensive and you'd better stock up on fruit and veggies when you encounter it because it's not sold in most basic grocery stores.

As for Cabanela, he'll still be going for canned stuff. Also bread, milk, pasta sauces, coffee... And some cookies because why not get snacks?]

Hah, III don't think they can get away with that anymore, baby. Bruised apples are invitations to soccer moms causing a scene in the middle of the store. Nooobody wants that.

[notaccurate]

[Why get packages when they can be made fresh though?

Also he is raising an eyebrow at that comment.]

'Soccer moms'? Do I even want to know what those are?

[He will also notice the canned sauce in Cabanela's basket, too.]

...you know I can make that, right?

[inspectormacarena]

Nothin' wrong with having some emergency rations. This is cheaper and it'll keep for yeeears. [If all goes well, they won't be here for years, but... You never know.]

And no, I don't think I can do soccer moms justice with mere words, baby. It's the sorta thing you have to experience firsthand.

[notaccurate]

[Luca makes a face when he hears that first part. ]

Years? That just seems unnatural, food isn't meant to be kept longer than a few months at most.

[He will have to win Cabanela over to the side of meals made with fresh ingredients, clearly.

Also because this is Luca, guess who finds the aisle of beauty products.]

Oh? Is this all soap?

[inspectormacarena]

[Good god... They're going to be in this aisle forever, aren't they?]

Soap, lotion, shampoo... You name it, baby.

[Which reminds him, he needs to get some of the basic necessities. Shampoo, shower gel, shaving cream and razors. Yoink! ...Oh and soap for washing the dishes. In fact, where's the toilet paper? They need toilet paper. ........He's going to need a second shopping basket, because he clearly underestimated just how much they need to stock in their apartment for even a month.]

[notaccurate]

[Well, not forever, but it will take a while for Luca to sort out what he wants. He just works his way down the aisle, eventually making it to the other end, stopping just short of the feminine products. And guess what is between the shampoo and the feminine products!

Yes Luca is eying a bottle of lube. ]

What is this sparkly pink stuff? It doesn't look like soap.

[inspectormacarena]

Hmm? [It takes an additional moment for Cabanela to return to Luca's side and actually look at the little bottle that's caught his attention. ......Why is this being sold in a grocery store? Condoms are one thing, but this? Geez, right where kids can get to it, too.]

Veeery observant, baby. That is not soap. Faaar from it.

[notaccurate]

What is it for, then? Is it some kind of lotion, or a hair dye?

[Luca is used to using olive oil, because easily accessible in the kitchen and all. ]

[inspectormacarena]

[jfaslkds]

No, no, nooo... Nothin' like that. It's used for getting down and dirty, baby. [Just read the label, Luca. Geez.]

[notaccurate]

[Oh right that's a thing he can do.

Which he does.

And then he promptly puts the bottle back on the shelf, perhaps with a bit more force than necessary. Because he just embarrassed himself whoops.]

...right then, I think we have everything we need.

[inspectormacarena]

Oooh? You don't want it?

[He wouldn't have put it past Luca to just... drop that lube in his basket without another word. Then again, they'd have to make it past the register with something that 'dubious' and Luca's already made it clear he doesn't like to be too public about his sexual preferences.]

[notaccurate]

No, of course not, there are plenty of alternatives-

[He manages to stop himself from running his mouth there and quickly change where he is going with that.]

-which we are not going to discuss now because that is unnecessary.

[IE he will come back later in the middle of the night when there aren't a lot of people so he can get such things. And condoms too, once he realizes what those are.]

[inspectormacarena]

[Theeere it is. And he shudders to think what sort of alternatives might exist in a timeperiod like Luca's. Spit? Sunflower oil? He'd rather stick to what was designed specifically for that purpose, because then he'd know for sure it works. ...Even if it is strawberry scented.]

Suit yourself, baby.

[notaccurate]

[Olive oil was used for millenia before lube was a thing, so Luca will be sticking with that kthnx.

That second part, though. He responds in a joking tone.]

You say that as if I would have a reason to use it.

[Which he does, but. Does Cabanela really think Luca would just up and declare "mmkay bringing some guys back to the house to bang, hope you don't mind"?]

[inspectormacarena]

[You stop that and use the olive oil for cooking. And do your banging with 'some guys' elsewhere, plz.]

I don't doubt that you would fiiind a reason to use it.

[notaccurate]

[YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF HIM]

...I'm not sure if I should be insulted or not.

[But they are using most of the rest of their money of groceries. Funny how money doesn't go nearly as far as it used to.]

It looks like I might have to go out tonight anyway.

[inspectormacarena]

[Well, they are stocking up enough groceries to make an apartment habitable for roughly a month. An impressive bill for all the supplies is a given.

As for that insulting thing... No comment.]

Ooout? Out where?