call me out RP post

[flamingprick]

Because I needed a new one.

Respond with the character you want in the subject, and we'll do something!

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[circumsutus]

[Stein wakes up, groggy and aching and confused, but he's slept... almost enough. He sits up, takes in his surroundings, and is suddenly confronted with the realization that Shiro is... going to throw up on everything in their little space.]

Don't you dare throw up on me, kid.

[futurepaladin]

[That look on his face is saying that he's really, really trying.

Also he just. Indicates to the bucket. He's got it covered, he's not totally helpless.

This is going to be a very long trip though. Good luck getting him on a boat after this.]

[circumsutus]

[Stein doesn't like sea travel much, it's slow and confined and he tends to get seasick himself when the seas get heavier, and he's really not looking forward to this. If Shiro can't even talk at this point, things are going to get worse pretty quickly.

He should have given Shiro something for motion sickness before the boat left port, but he passed out too quickly. He digs in his backpack and pulls out a bottle of dramamine, then passes two of the pills to Shiro and takes one himself.]

This should help your stomach. It might make you drowsy.

panic attack (and vomit) incoming

[futurepaladin]

[Shiro hesitates, and for a moment there is a flash of fear in his eyes. Because he remembers all the sketchy drugs that he had been forced to take in the past, as well as how he would sometimes get sick for days because of them. He remembers the way they never had a choice, how the pills would get forced down their throats if they tried to resist.

He remembers the way some of the clones stopped moving after taking some of these pills, and how they were taken away and never brought back.

He remembers Stein doing this sometimes, telling them all 'it's for your own good, it will help'.

Before he even realizes what is happening, Shiro is breathing heavily and starting to tremble, his knuckles tight and white with how firmly he is gripping the bucket.

For three terrifying seconds, it looks like he might scream.

And then he just throws up in the bucket instead.]

Re: panic attack (and vomit) incoming

[circumsutus]

[The reaction is about what Stein expected. Good. He would have been pretty damn impressed (and concerned) if Shiro had managed to take the pills.

Stein doesn't approach, just puts the pills away and leans back against a crate. He observes.]

[futurepaladin]

[That's just one small taste of everything Shiro is going to have to unlearn. There's a lot of trauma in there that isn't going to be pleasant.

When Shiro is done heaving into the bucket, he sort of just curls in on himself and sits there on the damp floor, trying to keep from shaking too much. It's not audible, but he is crying, with two wet trails going down to his chin.

It's Too Much and Shiro is going to need a moment to recover. Sorry Stein.]

[circumsutus]

[Shiro gets as much time and space as he needs. Nothing about this will work if the kid tries to run every time Stein makes a move. The crying is certainly unexpected, but he can't remember if Shiro has a known history of breaking down like that.]

[futurepaladin]

[Shiro has previously held it all in. It's how he lived to be eighteen anyway, the overly-emotional clones were always deemed 'failures' and 'taken care of.' Emotions like this were always shoved away, and he always acted like everything was fine.

But this isn't fine. This is Shiro coming down from a panic attack, and it's all too much for him. Crying is a sign that his barriers are breaking down, that he's showing his feelings more.

Of course, it's a shame that the emotion he's showing is 'anxiety and grief', but that's how it goes sometimes.

Eventually Shiro sets the bucket aside entirely and draws himself up into a tight ball. He's trying to dry his face, and he's not actively sobbing anymore, but he's still shivering. Both from the cold and the elevated level of emotions.]

I didn't mean to.

[The default apology for someone like him. Those are words that he has spoken many times, when he has made mistakes. Apparently 'crying' is a mistake now.]

[circumsutus]

It's fine. [He says, as if Shiro's reaction was normal.]

Do you want to try the medication, or would you rather not? [Brushing it off and moving on is what he prefers, and he's going to try and instill that same habit in Shiro.]

[futurepaladin]

No.

[He's a little quick to answer that question. For Reasons. But after a second the need to expand on that kicks in, because whenever silence draws out between a clone and a doctor it's because the doctor is waiting for more of an answer. It's expected that he would supply information in a situation like that.]

I'm fine now. I don't need it.

[A lie, but he REALLY doesn't want the meds.]

[circumsutus]

Bullshit. [Come on Shiro, you just puked up everything you've ever eaten into a bucket.]

You need it, you just don't want it.

[futurepaladin]

If I'm okay enough to show that I don't want it, then I don't need it.

[He's stealing the mattress now. No more bed for you, Stein.]

[circumsutus]

Whatever you say. [Stein says, though his tone suggests that he doesn't believe a word that Shiro says.]

Give me that bucket so I can go dump it. [He says, rising to his feet (a little unsteady with the rocking of the ship) and holding out a hand towards Shiro.]

[futurepaladin]

[Shiro wants to roll over and sleep off this everything, but instead he grabs for the bucket and offers it up to Stein. Because he's been conditioned to do as told, and disobedience is very hard for him still. Especially when he's already worn out from a panic attack.]

[circumsutus]

[Don't worry, you'll get the chance to sleep soon. Stein just doesn't want to deal with the potential for an upended bucket of vomit.

He grabs it and leaves, going off through the maze of crates to find the head, or somewhere else he can dump the bucket. Once that's found, he comes back and checks in on Shiro, just looking the boy over from a distance.]

[futurepaladin]

[At first it might look like Shiro is sleeping, but his breathing isn't even enough for that. Nope, he's laying on the shitty mattress, trying to sleep but he keeps getting lost in his thoughts.

The last week or so has been a lot to process, and he still feels a little guilty about not fully trusting Stein yet. Even though Stein threw away everything for him. Old habits die hard, it seems.]

[circumsutus]

[Shiro isn't sleeping, obviously. But Stein won't disturb him, instead lying down against a crate of who-knows-what, closing his eyes and settling down to sleep. He isn't nonfunctional anymore, but he's still tired, and he'll still take this chance to sleep while he can.

Unless, of course, Shiro needs something from him.]

[futurepaladin]

[Shiro doesn't say anything to Stein. He's not even going to roll over and face Stein or anything.

But he will reach over and grab for Stein's hand. He's not doing anything beyond that, he just wants to hold onto someone for a little while. It's a small comfort he never really afforded himself, because he was always wary of what was going to happen to him next. The other scientists didn't like clingy clones, after all.

But this is different, so maybe this will be okay.]

[circumsutus]

[Stein doesn't grab Shiro's hand, of course, but he shifts his position, just slightly, just enough for Shiro's flailing to find his hand. If that's what the boy needs, Stein will let him have it.]

[futurepaladin]

[Good, because Shiro is going to hold onto that hand tightly for a long time. Or until he falls asleep, whichever happens first. Somehow it brings him comfort after everything he's been through, and that might be the first good night's sleep he's gotten without waking up from nightmares.

He won't talk about it the next day, though. In fact, unless Stein brings it up, Shiro won't talk about it at all. Not until they get to Australia, at least.]

more time skipping because thats how this au rolls

[circumsutus]

[There's no way Stein's bringing it up. He doesn't understand it, doesn't know why Shiro is looking for comfort from someone like him unless the boy's so unsettled he's looking for anything he can find.

The Australian summer is brutal, raw heat and blistering sunshine, and getting off the boat is absolute hell. They're shoved into a cargo container for over an hour, dealing heat that drives up their core temperatures and gets them both too close to heatstroke for Stein's liking, but it's necessary. Once they're out, they have to get away from the docks quickly, sneaking their way out and hiking a few miles into the nearest town and it's so damn hot and they don't have enough water but they don't have a choice.

Finally, they get there, and Stein has money already, more than enough to hand over cash for a room at a cheap hotel. He locks the door, turns on the window air conditioning unit and the fan in the corner of the room, and turns to Shiro.]

Go shower. Use cold water. [It's too hot, and while Shiro's showering Stein's going to lose as many layers as possible and start drinking water.]

timeskips ayyyy

[futurepaladin]

[Shiro doesn't have to be told twice. Somehow he managed to get sunburnt through the sunscreen he was wearing, and the cold water is one of the few reliefs he can get from hot ache he has everywhere. It's left him exhausted, and he almost falls asleep in the shower itself. It's only his sunburns themselves that save him from falling over, because touching anything with them hurts.

So Shiro does shower and get mostly-dressed, but he's going shirtless now. And he's using that aloe on his burns too before stepping out of the bathroom to go flop down on one of the beds. He has to lay in a weird arrangement- belly-down but with his chin propped up by a pillow- to keep the skin-to-blanket contact to a minimum.]

If this is how I die, then this is one of the worst deaths ever.

[He's just being a dramatic teenager, he'll be fine.]

[circumsutus]

[Stein laughs, an exhausted breath of sound before he drags himself into the shower. When he comes out, he's shirtless too, because even with the fans going it's too damn hot to wear more clothing than absolutely necessary. He's sunburnt too, not as badly as Shiro but his cheeks and nose and the back of his neck are pink despite the sunscreen.]

Get used to the heat, we're heading into the Outback as soon as I can find us a car.

[futurepaladin]

The Outback?

[Shiro lifts his head just far enough to shoot Stein a confused look.]

Isn't that all wilderness and death and stuff?

[circumsutus]

That's right. Wilderness, death, and ranchland. The person I'm taking you to meet runs a cattle station in the Northern Territory. Tomorrow, we need to find a reliable enough car to get us there, and supplies for the trip.