Oh noes, old men smooching!

[paladaddy]

[Okay.

So.

Let's fast-forward a bit, past where Shiro and Stein met and became buddies and so forth. All that stuff already partially happened in Vat anyway. So by now Shiro is at least friendly enough with Stein that he can be honest with him and ask questions without holding himself back.]

You have a lot of scars.

[He's curious, ok?]

Comments

[circumsutus]

Are you asking to see me in a dress, Shiro?

[paladaddy]

...I keep forgetting how bad you are with jokes.

[circumsutus]

[See, half the fun of jokes is turning them back on the person who started them in the first place.]

I'd look terrible in a dress.

[paladaddy]

Yeah, you probably would. Your shoulders are too broad.

[Don't ask how Shiro knows this. Just don't.]

[circumsutus]

[Well, Shiro's seen Stein shirtless at least once.]

Are you an expert on crossdressing?

[paladaddy]

Well, I DO wear cassocks a lot...

[See, Stein? That is a joke. Jokes are funny like that.]

[circumsutus]

Would you prefer I called it a dress?

[paladaddy]

Call it what you like.

[He's not wearing one right now, though. He's been wearing them less frequently here in Vatheon.]

You wouldn't be the first person to call it a dress.

[circumsutus]

Well, that takes the fun out of it.

[paladaddy]

See? Fun-ruining can go both ways.

[circumsutus]

Hmmm. [You're boring him, Shiro.]

[paladaddy]

[Sorry Stein, Shiro is wondering if it would be possible to actually seduce you or not. In general, not specifically by him or anything.]

If you're so interested in them, though, I suppose I could loan you one to try on. We're about the same body type, I think.

[It would go down to about Stein's knees, though. Damn tall people.]

[circumsutus]

I'm not interested in wearing your dresses.

[paladaddy]

[Erk.]

So cruel! I've changed my mind, you're too sour to be good-looking.

[circumsutus]

Sour? Really?

[paladaddy]

You know, like those sweet and sour candies kids have. The outer layer is sweet, and then it punches you in the face with an explosion of sour.

[circumsutus]

Hmmm.

Yep, that sounds like an accurate assessment!

[paladaddy]

Do you have gum at your core too?

[circumsutus]

Not unless things have changed since the last time I checked.

[paladaddy]

[Shiro was about to make a comment, but then he realized that Stein probably has checked his core at some point.]

Well, you're also not hideously green on the outside, and I doubt you taste as good as candy, so the analogy isn't perfect.

[circumsutus]

They never are.

[paladaddy]

[You know what? Fuck it, this was pretty much a game of gay chicken already, so he might as well go all the way with it anyway.

He's murmuring this thoughtfully.]

I suppose I could always find out for myself...

[circumsutus]

I thought you weren't going to attempt to seduce me. [Is that a hint of a real smile?]

[paladaddy]

[That better be, real smiles look better than fake ones.]

When did I say that I wasn't going to?

[Technically, he didn't confirm nor deny it.

But that doesn't matter, he'll go ahead and invade Stein's personal space anyway by draping on him.]

All I said was 'if you were a woman I would have seduced you already.' That doesn't mean I wouldn't try just because you're a guy.

[circumsutus]

[His real smiles are a little tired, a little sad. But they're real. There's just a big contrast between them and the smirks and smiles he normally shows.]

I'm flattered.

It's been a while since I let anyone seduce me. [Medusa was the last one, but... well. That ended badly.]