backyardbbq | call me out RP post

For you, it's normal. There were a few errors that cropped up as a result of the process, and your batch wound up with a benign genetic abnormality. It's a condition called albinism, a lack of pigmentation throughout your body. Your skin burns more easily because it lacks protective pigment and your eyes are photosensitive because the irises aren't dark enough to block light. I'll have to do some research to determine the best way for you to manage it. It's not fatal or progressive, it's just going to be something you deal with.

[He offers a hand to help Shiro up of the grass. He's expecting refusal, but it's still polite to offer.]

[That sure was a lot of science-talk to basically say 'genetics fucked you over'.

And Shiro is regarding that hand with caution. He's still very skittish, and probably will be for some time. But Stein is helping him, right? Stein did just sacrifice everything for his sake. Even if Shiro thinks Stein chose wrong, that he should have picked one of the other kids to save, the fact still remains that Stein is trying to help. So maybe Shiro should give him a chance.

After a moment of internal debate, he finally takes Shiro's hand and pulls himself to his feet.]

It shouldn't be any harder to deal with than everything else, right? So I'll manage.

[Up until he gets his first real sunburn, that is.

Also be prepared for motion sickness on that boat ride.]

[Shiro if you think that was a lot of science talk just wait until Stein stops giving the most basic, dumbed-down explanations possible.]

[He helps the boy up, and let's go of that hand as soon as possible afterwards, walking inside and assuming Shiro will follow. After a brief explanation of who they're going to meet in Australia (a friend of Stein's, someone he worked with as an exorcist, a good person, and someone he's very clearly fond of despite the sadly nostalgic expression he wears when he talks about her), and an application of some aloe to Shiro's face, the two of them turn in early to get some sleep (or, Shiro gets some sleep while Stein continues to work out a plan).

They leave well before dawn the next morning, walking under the cover of darkness until they manage to hitch a ride to the next town, where Stein grabs more protective gear for Shiro (including a slightly floppy sun hat) and then hitchhiking their way to the coast. It takes two days, giving Shiro his first experience sleeping outside and seeing the stars, as well as a lot of other firsts.

Their boat is... sketchy to put it mildly. It's an old tramp freighter, headed to Australia with a cargo of mixed goods. Their passage is unlisted and none of the freighter's crew comments on their secretive arrival. There isn't a cabin for them, just a single mattress shoved behind massive boxes in the hold.

Stein is... less than impressed with the accommodations, but he drops down onto the small mattress anyway.]

I need to sleep. [That's been obvious for a while now. He hasn't slept at all in six days, minus a few moments of unintentional drifting off, and he's been barely functional for the past two days, despite his normal endless reserves of energy.]

Wake me up if you need something.

Sure, will do.

[Stein looks absolutely exhausted, so Shiro's not going to push the issue. He could use some sleep on an actual bed too, even if that bed is a mattress on the ground, but he can wait until Stein has had some rest.

In the meantime, Shiro carefully explores his new surroundings. The boat is dank and dark in this area, and it's more than a little creepy. And since it's daytime, he can't go above ship either. Even if he used some of the sunscreen first, he's sure the crew would ask too many questions.

So instead, he walks among the loads of cargo, trying to read their contents. His reading skills aren't the best- the clones never had a reason to learn anything beyond the basics- but Shiro's got a brilliant mind and is picking up stuff quickly.

It's mostly cars, Shiro finds out quickly, along with some manufactured goods and a couple containers full of dvds and games. So nothing he could use at the moment, he notes with disdain. He hopes the boat ride won't be too long, it's going to get boring fast.

Then the boat lurches and starts to sway in the way a boat would out on the open ocean, and Shiro quickly finds his stomach not agreeing with him. By the time Stein wakes up, Shiro is sitting nearby looking paler than usual, with a bucket in arm's reach.]

[Stein wakes up, groggy and aching and confused, but he's slept... almost enough. He sits up, takes in his surroundings, and is suddenly confronted with the realization that Shiro is... going to throw up on everything in their little space.]

Don't you dare throw up on me, kid.

[That look on his face is saying that he's really, really trying.

Also he just. Indicates to the bucket. He's got it covered, he's not totally helpless.

This is going to be a very long trip though. Good luck getting him on a boat after this.]

[Stein doesn't like sea travel much, it's slow and confined and he tends to get seasick himself when the seas get heavier, and he's really not looking forward to this. If Shiro can't even talk at this point, things are going to get worse pretty quickly.

He should have given Shiro something for motion sickness before the boat left port, but he passed out too quickly. He digs in his backpack and pulls out a bottle of dramamine, then passes two of the pills to Shiro and takes one himself.]

This should help your stomach. It might make you drowsy.

[Shiro hesitates, and for a moment there is a flash of fear in his eyes. Because he remembers all the sketchy drugs that he had been forced to take in the past, as well as how he would sometimes get sick for days because of them. He remembers the way they never had a choice, how the pills would get forced down their throats if they tried to resist.

He remembers the way some of the clones stopped moving after taking some of these pills, and how they were taken away and never brought back.

He remembers Stein doing this sometimes, telling them all 'it's for your own good, it will help'.

Before he even realizes what is happening, Shiro is breathing heavily and starting to tremble, his knuckles tight and white with how firmly he is gripping the bucket.

For three terrifying seconds, it looks like he might scream.

And then he just throws up in the bucket instead.]

Edited 2018-02-23 05:46 (UTC)

[The reaction is about what Stein expected. Good. He would have been pretty damn impressed (and concerned) if Shiro had managed to take the pills.

Stein doesn't approach, just puts the pills away and leans back against a crate. He observes.]

[That's just one small taste of everything Shiro is going to have to unlearn. There's a lot of trauma in there that isn't going to be pleasant.

When Shiro is done heaving into the bucket, he sort of just curls in on himself and sits there on the damp floor, trying to keep from shaking too much. It's not audible, but he is crying, with two wet trails going down to his chin.

It's Too Much and Shiro is going to need a moment to recover. Sorry Stein.]

[Shiro gets as much time and space as he needs. Nothing about this will work if the kid tries to run every time Stein makes a move. The crying is certainly unexpected, but he can't remember if Shiro has a known history of breaking down like that.]

[Shiro has previously held it all in. It's how he lived to be eighteen anyway, the overly-emotional clones were always deemed 'failures' and 'taken care of.' Emotions like this were always shoved away, and he always acted like everything was fine.

But this isn't fine. This is Shiro coming down from a panic attack, and it's all too much for him. Crying is a sign that his barriers are breaking down, that he's showing his feelings more.

Of course, it's a shame that the emotion he's showing is 'anxiety and grief', but that's how it goes sometimes.

Eventually Shiro sets the bucket aside entirely and draws himself up into a tight ball. He's trying to dry his face, and he's not actively sobbing anymore, but he's still shivering. Both from the cold and the elevated level of emotions.]

I didn't mean to.

[The default apology for someone like him. Those are words that he has spoken many times, when he has made mistakes. Apparently 'crying' is a mistake now.]

It's fine. [He says, as if Shiro's reaction was normal.]

Do you want to try the medication, or would you rather not? [Brushing it off and moving on is what he prefers, and he's going to try and instill that same habit in Shiro.]

No.

[He's a little quick to answer that question. For Reasons. But after a second the need to expand on that kicks in, because whenever silence draws out between a clone and a doctor it's because the doctor is waiting for more of an answer. It's expected that he would supply information in a situation like that.]

I'm fine now. I don't need it.

[A lie, but he REALLY doesn't want the meds.]

Bullshit. [Come on Shiro, you just puked up everything you've ever eaten into a bucket.]

You need it, you just don't want it.

If I'm okay enough to show that I don't want it, then I don't need it.

[He's stealing the mattress now. No more bed for you, Stein.]

Whatever you say. [Stein says, though his tone suggests that he doesn't believe a word that Shiro says.]

Give me that bucket so I can go dump it. [He says, rising to his feet (a little unsteady with the rocking of the ship) and holding out a hand towards Shiro.]

Edited 2018-03-12 03:44 (UTC)

[Shiro wants to roll over and sleep off this everything, but instead he grabs for the bucket and offers it up to Stein. Because he's been conditioned to do as told, and disobedience is very hard for him still. Especially when he's already worn out from a panic attack.]

[Don't worry, you'll get the chance to sleep soon. Stein just doesn't want to deal with the potential for an upended bucket of vomit.

He grabs it and leaves, going off through the maze of crates to find the head, or somewhere else he can dump the bucket. Once that's found, he comes back and checks in on Shiro, just looking the boy over from a distance.]

[At first it might look like Shiro is sleeping, but his breathing isn't even enough for that. Nope, he's laying on the shitty mattress, trying to sleep but he keeps getting lost in his thoughts.

The last week or so has been a lot to process, and he still feels a little guilty about not fully trusting Stein yet. Even though Stein threw away everything for him. Old habits die hard, it seems.]

[Shiro isn't sleeping, obviously. But Stein won't disturb him, instead lying down against a crate of who-knows-what, closing his eyes and settling down to sleep. He isn't nonfunctional anymore, but he's still tired, and he'll still take this chance to sleep while he can.

Unless, of course, Shiro needs something from him.]

[Shiro doesn't say anything to Stein. He's not even going to roll over and face Stein or anything.

But he will reach over and grab for Stein's hand. He's not doing anything beyond that, he just wants to hold onto someone for a little while. It's a small comfort he never really afforded himself, because he was always wary of what was going to happen to him next. The other scientists didn't like clingy clones, after all.

But this is different, so maybe this will be okay.]

[Stein doesn't grab Shiro's hand, of course, but he shifts his position, just slightly, just enough for Shiro's flailing to find his hand. If that's what the boy needs, Stein will let him have it.]

[Good, because Shiro is going to hold onto that hand tightly for a long time. Or until he falls asleep, whichever happens first. Somehow it brings him comfort after everything he's been through, and that might be the first good night's sleep he's gotten without waking up from nightmares.

He won't talk about it the next day, though. In fact, unless Stein brings it up, Shiro won't talk about it at all. Not until they get to Australia, at least.]

[There's no way Stein's bringing it up. He doesn't understand it, doesn't know why Shiro is looking for comfort from someone like him unless the boy's so unsettled he's looking for anything he can find.

The Australian summer is brutal, raw heat and blistering sunshine, and getting off the boat is absolute hell. They're shoved into a cargo container for over an hour, dealing heat that drives up their core temperatures and gets them both too close to heatstroke for Stein's liking, but it's necessary. Once they're out, they have to get away from the docks quickly, sneaking their way out and hiking a few miles into the nearest town and it's so damn hot and they don't have enough water but they don't have a choice.

Finally, they get there, and Stein has money already, more than enough to hand over cash for a room at a cheap hotel. He locks the door, turns on the window air conditioning unit and the fan in the corner of the room, and turns to Shiro.]

Go shower. Use cold water. [It's too hot, and while Shiro's showering Stein's going to lose as many layers as possible and start drinking water.]

call me out RP post

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timeskip

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panic attack (and vomit) incoming

Re: panic attack (and vomit) incoming

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more time skipping because thats how this au rolls

timeskips ayyyy

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