Crybadger continued

[notaccurate]

SEE BELOW I'm making individual threads for things so that if a page gets long we can just move to a new comment thread.

Comments

[inspectormacarena]

[Luca might have to lower his standards either way. Cabanela's found that even in firsthand stores, it's hard to find clothes to match one's exact taste. In a secondhand store it's five times worse (unless you're Macklemore and you manage to turn it into something ironic and hip).

He could make a reference to greasy junkfood. He could say that clothes in odd sizes are more likely to be found secondhand. Except that Luca is basically begging for his words to be taken the 'wrong way'.]

Average, hmm? That's... What, five inches? [People need to stop giving him openings for penis jokes. Seriously.]

[notaccurate]

[Oh, he'll give Cabanela an opening-

Luca sees that penis joke coming from a mile away, and at first he turns red and looks around quickly to see if anyone nearby heard them. But thankfully nobody is in their section, so Luca can give Cabanela a rebuttal, though he is trying to speak in a slightly lower voice, so he isn't heard by others in the store.]

First off, you know damn well that I was talking about broadness of shoulders and waistlines.

Secondly, I am above average in that area, thank you very much.

[inspectormacarena]

[Cabanela, on the other hand, isn't bothering all that much to keep his voice down. Once again, welcome to the 21st century. You can make penis jokes all you want and if someone else overhears, they'll probably just laugh along. He's not being overly loud about it, though, because he doesn't want to spook Luca.]

Of cooourse you are, baby. You and every other guy when they're asked about it. [A nonchalant wave of the hand, then he'll turn his attention to a rack of pants.]

[notaccurate]

[WOW RUDE]

Not that it is any of your business- only my bedpartners have any stake in the matter- but I am not exaggerating!

[Now he is even more annoyed and he is hurriedly grabbing a mostly-alright shirt so he can stalk after Cabanela and whisper-yell at him some more. This isn't merely a private matter anymore, Cabanela is insulting something Luca is proud of.]

[inspectormacarena]

[Good grief, he was kidding. If Luca says his size is above average, it probably is. Who's Cabanela to question it? ...Though, just the fact that Luca is getting so offended about the notion makes him want to poke fun at it some more.

So he idly pulls a pair of pants from the rack and holds it up as if only half his attention is still on the conversation.]

Mmh? Sounds to me like that's not entirely true. Why would you get defeeensive if you're so confident about it, baby?

[notaccurate]

Because-

[How can he explain it without sounding really childish?]

Because- oh, nevermind!

[But he will be pointedly cranky in Cabanela's general direction for a bit. Feel his peeved off nature, Cabanela, feel it.

He won't be complaining about the pants as much as the shirt either, rather just looking for a pair of the right size. Which is difficult, because they are labeled in inches, not centimeters. He's currently holding a pair that looks like it's about his size, but looks displeased.]

This can't be right, the number is too small.

[inspectormacarena]

[What, too small for Luca's giant dick? ...No, okay, he'll stop now. Really. Even if the crankiness is amusing.

Give him a second to peek at the label in those pants.]

Looks fiiine to me. They might be using a different system for measurements where you're from. [It's the same for Europe, and Luca is sort of from Europe, so...]

[notaccurate]

Ah, of course. Different world, different measurements.

[He is going to have to try them on, isn't he?]

I thought that since time was measured the same way, sizes would be as well. How foolish of me.

[inspectormacarena]

[Trying them on will have to be a thing. It's a good idea regardless of size measurements to be honest, because pants are always tricky.]

Nooope. It's all in inches, baby. [Yup, there is that magical word again.]

[notaccurate]

You keep saying that word, 'inches'. What does that even mean?

[He asks as he searches for a dressing room. At least those are something that existed back in his time too.]

[inspectormacarena]

[... Luca doesn't even know what inches are. He should've seen that coming.]

It's a unit of meaaasurement. How about centimeters? Do you know what centimeters are?

[notaccurate]

Centimeters I know, yes. So inches are a small unit of measurement, like a centimeter is?

[Dude if you called Luca's dick 5 centimeters big then that is rude.]

[inspectormacarena]

[he said inches.]

Mhmm. If my memory serves me, one inch is about two and a half centimeters. [So do the math, Luca. Five times two and a half is...?]

[notaccurate]

[Much closer to a number Luca is alright with, at least.]

So...if these pants say they are 28 inches, they would be about 70 centimeters?

[That is closer to Luca's actual size too. Much better than 28 centimeters, at the very least.]

[inspectormacarena]

Somethin' like that. [Please don't ask him to math right now, he's running on fewer hours of sleep than he'd like because a certain someone discovered the bathroom exhaust fan.]

[notaccurate]

[Psh, sleep is for the weak.

But Luca will just roll with this 'inches' nonsense, and pretty soon he has at least somewhat-decent clothes. They're not nearly as nice as his work uniform is, but sacrifices have to be made.

It's well worth the sacrifice, too. Once Luca has alternate clothes to wear, they can take everything he has down to an antique dealer.

The work uniform isn't worth as much as Luca would have hoped, but a couple of the small things he had on him (mostly tools used for science experiments at the university) fetch a nice sum of money. It won't set them up completely, but they've got enough for at least a week or so.

With that taken care of, they need to work on the next step: housing. Because Luca wants to have a roof over his head and a warm meal in his stomach before fussing about clothes more.]

As nice as that hotel room was, I think I would prefer to have a bed as well.

[inspectormacarena]

[And once again, a mildly inappropriate remark dawns on Cabanela that he'll bite back for the sake of not starting another argument. Plus, Luca has a point. They need to find a more suitable place to stay. That's gonna be tricky.]

Unless we increase our costs with a biiigger hotel room, we're gonna have to look into alternatives. I'd suggest staying outside the big city anyway. The prices around here are nothing to sneeze at. [...Imagine if they found a place with a pool, though.]

[notaccurate]

[Fortunately, Luca knows about the price differences of city life versus country life, because that is also a thing in his time.]

Mmn, but if we live outside of the city, we will need transportation.

[That is something that is different now, though. For Luca, that would have meant either a carriage or living close to a train line. Nowadays, there were some pretty strange-looking, self-moving vehicles.]

[inspectormacarena]

[Not really. They can both do their research outside the big city, but needing transportation is a given regardless because they still need to leave it. Los Angeles is huge.]

Plenty of public transportation options to consider, baby. Trains, buses, the subwaaay... If all else fails we can hop a taxi. [If it works anything like back home, which he suspects it does, renting a car would involve a lot of proof of ID and a creditcard. Neither of which he wants to deal with right now.]

dot doot skipping ahead a bit

[notaccurate]

Let's see if we can find something close to the train line, then.

[It will only end up taking them most of the day, but there is in fact a building of apartments that can be rented month to month! They're small, but size is not so important for what little time they are going to be there. ]

Why is it nearly 200 dollars more for the two bedrooms, compares to a one bedroom? That seems like a bit much.

[inspectormacarena]

[By now, Cabanela has come to realize that Luca excels at complaining. He can't entirely blame the guy, considering he was catapulted into what's basically a foreign world against his will, but... Wow. It's going to be a very long month with that attitude.]

It's called a clever business tactic, baby. At least we know for a fact that the siiingle bedroom is within our price range, but if you insist having your own room, it's not too late to try and double our buuudget.

[notaccurate]

[ Unfortunately, that is Luca's natural state: complaining.

He is also tired and hungry and not really in the mood to go scam some shady people. That will be tomorrow's endeavor. ]

No, one is fine. We will just have to share the bed, or get a second one somehow.

...ah. take turns , not share.

[inspectormacarena]

[Huh. He wasn't expecting Luca to agree to a single bedroom quite so easily. Ah well. Saves them money for sure.]

Weeell. Since I got the bed last night, seems only fair that it's your turn to enjoy a mattress now. [Also, they're technically using Luca's money to fund this place, considering it was his stuff they pawned. Cabanela doesn't mind taking the couch tonight- or most other nights. It looks very comfy.]

[notaccurate]

[Luca is still a bit iffy about it if only because he fully intends to find someone to sleep with during his time here, and if that person happens to not be Cabanela that could lead to awkward moments. Luca doesn't want to force someone to sleep in a bed that has been used for sex by two other people.

Though, given that the apartment is fully-furnished, that might still happen. Luca tries not to think about it.]

And we can trade off every day, too. Hopefully you do not mind if I do the cooking?

[Because after a week of crap food, Luca wants REAL food. Which he can make, fortunately, though learning how these new stoves work may take a moment.]

[inspectormacarena]

[Please. The first rule of the apartment will be that Luca doesn't get to bring any guys home for sex. There will be none of that in here. If Luca wants to get laid, he'll just have to go to the other guy's place or find a cheap motel room. ...Unless the other guy is Cabanela himself, but he's not banking on that right now.]

Not at aaall! [The less time he needs to spend on cooking, the better. Somehow he doesn't have the attention span for it and food ends up getting burned.] You handle the cooking, I'll handle the cleaning.