[Yeah, 300 dollars won't get them very far. ...600 if they put their money together, but Cabanela already lost 50 on this hotelroom just for one night and they need to pay for those plane tickets too. Thanks for nothing, Proto. At this rate, they'll end up staying at the YMCA before long.]
Truuue, but are you sure you can put up with me for that long, baby? [Because let's not forget that Luca had very good reason to be mad at him.]
Even I can set my feelings aside for the greater good.
[That anger is already fading, though, or else he wouldn't have offered to help in the first place.
It really helps that nobody actually died, Luca would have stayed upset for much longer if death had really been involved.]
But I suppose we should establish ourselves in this city, at least temporarily. Since you are an agent of the law, I will ask you: how 'legal' do you want to be in accomplishing this?
[If Cabanela says 'very legal', then Luca will just 'disappear to work' and return with a few thousand dollars. It will be especially easy in a city where magic supposedly does not exist, or at least on a level that most people don't know about it.]
[That... is a very good question. Back home, his answer would definitely be "very legal". No matter how underhanded his tactics might get sometimes, they're always well within the confides of the law. He has an image to uphold and a position to maintain, after all.
Except they're not back home and whatever he does here won't affect his position at all. Now it's more an issue of morality, because crime is still crime.]
Tisk tisk, baby. Are you suggesting illegal activities in front of an officer of the law? For shaaame. [But it should be obvious from his tone of voice and the way he's wagging his finger that he's joking.] Let's be as legal as possible about this, shaaall we?
Oh yes, of course. Breaking actual laws would be a very bad thing, and we do not want to end up in jail.
However...
[If a city doesn't ban using magic to influence random chance simply because magic does not exist to them, well, then that is entirely on them.]
I think I know of a few 'questionable but not technically illegal' things we can do that would also assist you in learning about magic.
Ah-but you will need to be dressed first. And presentably, I might add. I have found that, if you look like you belong somewhere, nobody will question you.
[Wow, excuse you. EXCUSE YOU. Cabanela's fabulous white coat is the most presentable attire there is. He can't think of a single place where it would look out of place. ...Well, maybe one or two, but for the most part it's a very fashionable coat.]
[The coat works actually, he was more thinking of Cabanela just running around in a shirt as being unrepresentable.]
A gambling hall. So yes, let's not wave around your badge while we are there, hmm?
[Luca is thinking of the old-timey gambling halls though, he has no idea what it is like nowadays. That would really affect his plans if he did, he was just going to sneak into the back room and steal the money box.]
[Oh please. As if he'd leave the room without his coat. He'll wear it even on the hottest summer day. ...Though, speaking of clothes, they should probably buy some new ones because they've been wearing these since day 1 of the game, if not longer. Clean laundry needs to be a thing.
Also... A 'gambling hall'? Really? ...Well, that's still one of the more fair ways to earn money in a 'technically not illegal' way. There wouldn't be any victims.]
It's called a casino nowadays, and while cops have eeevery right to be there, I don't plan to show that badge off. [It isn't valid here anyway.]
I'm from the 1860s. Some of the things I have are even older than that. My clothes, the money I have, all of it would be antiques by now. If we could find the right buyer, we could make more than enough to live here for several months.
That... depends on just how foreign your things are. Unless your currency is something that was offiiicially recognized in this world, no antique dealer would take it.
But even without that, I still have my work uniform that I am wearing, as well as some things I was carrying with me. I am going to need new clothing if I will be staying here for a while anyway, and I have more work uniforms at home.
Weeell, if you're willing to part with those things, be my guest. I got no clue how much they're worth, but we might be in for a pleasant surprise.
[How much would they need for a month? Depends if they can find a rental apartment complete with furniture or something like that. Staying in a hotel for that long would be ridiculous.]
[But he will step away, so Cabanela can get dressed and they can gather their things.]
One step at a time, we first need to get something I can wear instead of this.
[Of course, actually finding something Luca will wear is the hard part.
With their limited funds, they have to settle on a secondhand store. A secondhand store when Luca vastly prefers suits and very fancy clothes. And all he can do is stare at the horror that is gaudy 2026 clothes.
Yeah he's not a happy camper.]
I can't do this. I can't be seen in public wearing any of this. You're looking at this, right?
[He is indicating towards a particularly horrible-looking Hawaiian shirt.]
[A secondhand store was not Cabanela's first choice either, believe him. Maybe if they actually get around to rigging a casino, they can consider nicer options. It's a good thing he only needs to settle for a few new shirts and pants in this place. Luca's in hotter water; he's got a whole new wardrobe to compile.
The Hawaiian shirt earns itself a smirk. He didn't think people actually bought these things in real life, but someone must've, or it wouldn't have ended up in here. The owner must've immediately regretted their lapse of judgment, because it looks like it was never even worn.]
It's rather hard to avoooid looking at it, baby. It's captivating in a very bad way.
[Oh, there will be fancy suits later. But for now, he can't waste all of his $300 on one suit, he just needs something to wear while they go to the antique dealer. Preferably something less garrish, too.
Luca puts the Hawaiian shirt back on the rack, and instead he turns to the 'formalwear' rack. Not that there is anything formal about the button-up shirts there, by Luca's standards, but they at least look presentable.
Except most of them are not actually white, they're different shades of off-white, and they are wrinkly. They could use a good starching. Luca is also decidedly smaller than most men, so finding one that would actually fit him is another question entirely.]
Why are men of this time so big? I was average in my time! Average!
[Yeah no he's always been a beanpole compared to everyone else ever, but he is in denial.]
[Luca might have to lower his standards either way. Cabanela's found that even in firsthand stores, it's hard to find clothes to match one's exact taste. In a secondhand store it's five times worse (unless you're Macklemore and you manage to turn it into something ironic and hip).
He could make a reference to greasy junkfood. He could say that clothes in odd sizes are more likely to be found secondhand. Except that Luca is basically begging for his words to be taken the 'wrong way'.]
Average, hmm? That's... What, five inches? [People need to stop giving him openings for penis jokes. Seriously.]
Luca sees that penis joke coming from a mile away, and at first he turns red and looks around quickly to see if anyone nearby heard them. But thankfully nobody is in their section, so Luca can give Cabanela a rebuttal, though he is trying to speak in a slightly lower voice, so he isn't heard by others in the store.]
First off, you know damn well that I was talking about broadness of shoulders and waistlines.
Secondly, I am above average in that area, thank you very much.
[Cabanela, on the other hand, isn't bothering all that much to keep his voice down. Once again, welcome to the 21st century. You can make penis jokes all you want and if someone else overhears, they'll probably just laugh along. He's not being overly loud about it, though, because he doesn't want to spook Luca.]
Of cooourse you are, baby. You and every other guy when they're asked about it. [A nonchalant wave of the hand, then he'll turn his attention to a rack of pants.]
Not that it is any of your business- only my bedpartners have any stake in the matter- but I am not exaggerating!
[Now he is even more annoyed and he is hurriedly grabbing a mostly-alright shirt so he can stalk after Cabanela and whisper-yell at him some more. This isn't merely a private matter anymore, Cabanela is insulting something Luca is proud of.]
[Good grief, he was kidding. If Luca says his size is above average, it probably is. Who's Cabanela to question it? ...Though, just the fact that Luca is getting so offended about the notion makes him want to poke fun at it some more.
So he idly pulls a pair of pants from the rack and holds it up as if only half his attention is still on the conversation.]
Mmh? Sounds to me like that's not entirely true. Why would you get defeeensive if you're so confident about it, baby?
[How can he explain it without sounding really childish?]
Because- oh, nevermind!
[But he will be pointedly cranky in Cabanela's general direction for a bit. Feel his peeved off nature, Cabanela, feel it.
He won't be complaining about the pants as much as the shirt either, rather just looking for a pair of the right size. Which is difficult, because they are labeled in inches, not centimeters. He's currently holding a pair that looks like it's about his size, but looks displeased.]
[What, too small for Luca's giant dick? ...No, okay, he'll stop now. Really. Even if the crankiness is amusing.
Give him a second to peek at the label in those pants.]
Looks fiiine to me. They might be using a different system for measurements where you're from. [It's the same for Europe, and Luca is sort of from Europe, so...]
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Truuue, but are you sure you can put up with me for that long, baby? [Because let's not forget that Luca had very good reason to be mad at him.]
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[That anger is already fading, though, or else he wouldn't have offered to help in the first place.
It really helps that nobody actually died, Luca would have stayed upset for much longer if death had really been involved.]
But I suppose we should establish ourselves in this city, at least temporarily. Since you are an agent of the law, I will ask you: how 'legal' do you want to be in accomplishing this?
[If Cabanela says 'very legal', then Luca will just 'disappear to work' and return with a few thousand dollars. It will be especially easy in a city where magic supposedly does not exist, or at least on a level that most people don't know about it.]
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Except they're not back home and whatever he does here won't affect his position at all. Now it's more an issue of morality, because crime is still crime.]
Tisk tisk, baby. Are you suggesting illegal activities in front of an officer of the law? For shaaame. [But it should be obvious from his tone of voice and the way he's wagging his finger that he's joking.] Let's be as legal as possible about this, shaaall we?
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However...
[If a city doesn't ban using magic to influence random chance simply because magic does not exist to them, well, then that is entirely on them.]
I think I know of a few 'questionable but not technically illegal' things we can do that would also assist you in learning about magic.
Ah-but you will need to be dressed first. And presentably, I might add. I have found that, if you look like you belong somewhere, nobody will question you.
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Wheeere exactly are we meant to belong, baby?
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A gambling hall. So yes, let's not wave around your badge while we are there, hmm?
[Luca is thinking of the old-timey gambling halls though, he has no idea what it is like nowadays. That would really affect his plans if he did, he was just going to sneak into the back room and steal the money box.]
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Also... A 'gambling hall'? Really? ...Well, that's still one of the more fair ways to earn money in a 'technically not illegal' way. There wouldn't be any victims.]
It's called a casino nowadays, and while cops have eeevery right to be there, I don't plan to show that badge off. [It isn't valid here anyway.]
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[new clothes would be a good thing, not only does Luca's suit smell, but it is also 200 years out of date-
...wait. ]
...
How active is the antique market?
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I wouldn't know, baby. Antiques aren't really my thiiing.
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That... depends on just how foreign your things are. Unless your currency is something that was offiiicially recognized in this world, no antique dealer would take it.
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But even without that, I still have my work uniform that I am wearing, as well as some things I was carrying with me. I am going to need new clothing if I will be staying here for a while anyway, and I have more work uniforms at home.
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[How much would they need for a month? Depends if they can find a rental apartment complete with furniture or something like that. Staying in a hotel for that long would be ridiculous.]
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[But he will step away, so Cabanela can get dressed and they can gather their things.]
One step at a time, we first need to get something I can wear instead of this.
[Of course, actually finding something Luca will wear is the hard part.
With their limited funds, they have to settle on a secondhand store. A secondhand store when Luca vastly prefers suits and very fancy clothes. And all he can do is stare at the horror that is gaudy 2026 clothes.
Yeah he's not a happy camper.]
I can't do this. I can't be seen in public wearing any of this. You're looking at this, right?
[He is indicating towards a particularly horrible-looking Hawaiian shirt.]
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The Hawaiian shirt earns itself a smirk. He didn't think people actually bought these things in real life, but someone must've, or it wouldn't have ended up in here. The owner must've immediately regretted their lapse of judgment, because it looks like it was never even worn.]
It's rather hard to avoooid looking at it, baby. It's captivating in a very bad way.
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Luca puts the Hawaiian shirt back on the rack, and instead he turns to the 'formalwear' rack. Not that there is anything formal about the button-up shirts there, by Luca's standards, but they at least look presentable.
Except most of them are not actually white, they're different shades of off-white, and they are wrinkly. They could use a good starching. Luca is also decidedly smaller than most men, so finding one that would actually fit him is another question entirely.]
Why are men of this time so big? I was average in my time! Average!
[Yeah no he's always been a beanpole compared to everyone else ever, but he is in denial.]
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He could make a reference to greasy junkfood. He could say that clothes in odd sizes are more likely to be found secondhand. Except that Luca is basically begging for his words to be taken the 'wrong way'.]
Average, hmm? That's... What, five inches? [People need to stop giving him openings for penis jokes. Seriously.]
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Oh, he'll give Cabanela an opening-Luca sees that penis joke coming from a mile away, and at first he turns red and looks around quickly to see if anyone nearby heard them. But thankfully nobody is in their section, so Luca can give Cabanela a rebuttal, though he is trying to speak in a slightly lower voice, so he isn't heard by others in the store.]
First off, you know damn well that I was talking about broadness of shoulders and waistlines.
Secondly, I am above average in that area, thank you very much.
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Of cooourse you are, baby. You and every other guy when they're asked about it. [A nonchalant wave of the hand, then he'll turn his attention to a rack of pants.]
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Not that it is any of your business- only my bedpartners have any stake in the matter- but I am not exaggerating!
[Now he is even more annoyed and he is hurriedly grabbing a mostly-alright shirt so he can stalk after Cabanela and whisper-yell at him some more. This isn't merely a private matter anymore, Cabanela is insulting something Luca is proud of.]
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So he idly pulls a pair of pants from the rack and holds it up as if only half his attention is still on the conversation.]
Mmh? Sounds to me like that's not entirely true. Why would you get defeeensive if you're so confident about it, baby?
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[How can he explain it without sounding really childish?]
Because- oh, nevermind!
[But he will be pointedly cranky in Cabanela's general direction for a bit. Feel his peeved off nature, Cabanela, feel it.
He won't be complaining about the pants as much as the shirt either, rather just looking for a pair of the right size. Which is difficult, because they are labeled in inches, not centimeters. He's currently holding a pair that looks like it's about his size, but looks displeased.]
This can't be right, the number is too small.
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Give him a second to peek at the label in those pants.]
Looks fiiine to me. They might be using a different system for measurements where you're from. [It's the same for Europe, and Luca is sort of from Europe, so...]
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[He is going to have to try them on, isn't he?]
I thought that since time was measured the same way, sizes would be as well. How foolish of me.
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Nooope. It's all in inches, baby. [Yup, there is that magical word again.]
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dot doot skipping ahead a bit
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whoop whoop assuming things from canon
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